DIS01 (Sep 2, 1995)
DISCLAIMER: THIS RECEIPT HAS BEEN UNLOCKED BY DIVISION TANGO (UPDATES 1-10).
Summary of Receipt
53 notices that Mrs. Pleasant is observing the Cafe and gives the new recruits some tips on how to avoid Pleasant.
Transcript
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-DIS
DATE: 09/02/95
EMPLOYEE #53
Well, someone's keeping busy. I was out last night, taking a walk to clear my head when I noticed in the rearview mirror of a nearby car some big, bright, glowing eyes. So it is pretty safe to say we are being watched. If I had to guess, I'd say it was Mrs. Pleasant from the Open Doors church. Then again, I didn't feel like looking into her eyes to find out. She's a real nasty customer, especially once you lock eyes with her. Not to mention she has a penchant for the unexpected. Ironically we need to keep an eye on her too. If she hangs around in an area too long, well, let's just say it'll be a disaster for sure.
Oh, right! We have newbies with us, huh? I'm sure you've been very diligent cafe workers and already done loads of studying up on our current clientele, but if you're out of the loop, let me just cover the basics of Mrs. Pleasant. Name says it all; she's practically famous in West Virginia. I'm sure you've heard by now but do not look in her eyes. Easier said than done, as one of her special little tricks is making you think she has more eyes than she really does. It's usually best just to cover your eyes and get out of there as soon as possible. Of course, I wouldn't recommend running as Pleasant is more flight than fight and is damn good at that too. Her chosen mode of transport can reach up to 60 mph. So, running just wastes your energy. Cover your eyes and get somewhere safe.
Well, wait, hang on, Shill, what happens if we look in her eyes? Well, then you get the pleasantry of having her sell you a nasty thick milkshake. Once you gaze into her eyes, it's all but impossible to refuse the allure of her special frozen treat. A milkshake sounds pretty good! However, I've heard a few sips, and you've got yourself extreme paranoia, fear, nausea, and suicidal thoughts for, oh, a few hours tops. So, let's not drink that milkshake, yeah? Heck, we're coffee people anyway. Good news is she can only really make so many milkshakes at once without having to restock her ingredients which are only found in Canada. If you can get her to serve you a milkshake but not drink it, that's the best way to deal with her. Of course, she's still fast, strong, and rather deadly. But without her eye-trick, you're more likely to survive a tango with her. Ah, that reminds me, tango. She doesn't dance, so don't expect anything from her in that regard. Now, Aka, she'll dance. But her dance card is pretty full at the moment.
In any case, just keep your eyes out, but down, for Mrs. Pleasant. She's lurking around Costa Mesa. Not sure if she's got her eyes on us or something else in the area, but that's pretty far from the Church. Could just be a "right place right time" thing, though. But I'm almost certain she gave me the once over. Might be worth snooping around that area just in case she is up to something more. Like I said, disasters are to be expected.