C-TPA06 (Jan 29, 1996)
Puzzle
“Eyes and Ears.”
See: DPSS05 | 3 Words
Clue
Hover over the clues if you require!
Clue 1: Who are the Satan SUCKSS group's 'eyes and ears'?
Clue 2: Who and who? Same order as in the receipt.
Answer and Explanation
Answer: Jan And Linda
Explanation: In DPSS05, it says “They mentioned that some lady named Jan and another lady named Linda have become her eyes and ears and have started kicking people out of the organization who weren’t “worthy.””
Summary of Receipt
The Satan SUCKSS leader isn't Mrs. Pleasant. She's just a regular person (or a demon really good at hiding), Abigail Hawthorne, who'd remained obscured to hide against any possible Satanic hexes and/or spells. Regardless, the speech she made as a whole promises to exorcise the demons from Long Beach and adding deacons (really just Hauntaurskaldian demons) to the school. Far more concerningly, she bans many things, including - while looking straight at 35, 44 and 1313 - coffee.
Transcript
RECEIPT #006
FILED UNDER: CAFE-TPA
DATE: 1/29/96
EMPLOYEE #62
That wasn’t Mrs. Pleasant.
I’m not sure who or what she was. Whatever she was—wasn’t human. However, I finally have the name for your shut-in stringboard: Abigail Hawthorne, the head of the Satan S.U.C.K.S.S. committee. She was joined by Jan Galloway and Linda Parris, her eyes and ears. Jan and Linda are, to my knowledge, humans, though I see why #35 has such a distaste for Jan. They’re a very preachy and screechy lot. Altogether they are their own sort of hellish Dark Triad. Or a WASP Triad, I suppose.
Apparently, this was Abigail’s first public appearance since the formation of the Satan S.U.C.K.S.S. committee. She fully intended to stay out of the limelight for fear of undue Satanic spells and hexes thrown at her in retaliation for her work. But after the principal and cheerleader accidents, she felt she had no choice but to make her presence known. I tried to get a Blood reading on Abigail to see if she is Hauntaurskaldian or not, but all I got was “ERROR.” Which, yes, could mean she’s just a human. Or it could mean she’s masking her demonic nature somehow.
The assembly wrapped up with a promise from Abigail that she will draw all of the demonic forces out of Long Beach and, if need be, will burn all heretics who stand in her way. She plans to place deacons in the schools to ensure no demonic forces are overtaking the souls of the innocents. Of course, the deacons are from the Open Doors Church—and I don’t need a Blood reading to tell you that they are undoubtedly Hauntaurskaldian demons. I think the most concerning part of the entire assembly was when she started listing off what would be banned on school grounds. Of course, there was a lot of the usual—heavy makeup, salacious music, corrupting games, but also caffeine. Coffee specifically. Which she said while looking directly at #35, #44, and #1313.