ADV03 (Sep 26, 2019)
Summary of Receipt
53 comes up with a master plan to avoid getting the T.C. incriminated. Basically, since their 8 is Nicole Langley, aka 1313 of the First Cafe, that means that she technically inherited the rights to the Cafe and Diner based on the original 8 - Jean’s - right of succession. Therefore, the Other Cafe is the official successor to the First Cafe and Diner, and the Third Cafe is nothing more than an ‘imitation parody’. Also, apparently the Third Cafe stopped sending Baristas to them in 2018.
Transcript
DATE: 9/26/2019
MANAGER 53
RECEIPT:COURT03
STATUS: OPEN
So looks like we’re all in some legal troubles, eh? Well, legal troubles are my specialty. So I’ve been thinking up some alibis for us. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “gee 53, do we need alibis? It wasn’t even our fault!” Yes. Yes, my sweet babies, I know. I know we didn’t do this. But an alibi is always lovely to have, and it’s better we get our stories as straight as the Daytona 500. I’ve already informed 2213 and the boss lady about our story, so no worries there. Hopefully, those winged dingdongs slurp up this coffee like it was a sin.
So. We are not the Cafe and Diner. That’s it. That’s the alibi. See, we’ve been implicated in this whole burglarsonarceny incident because we have the same name as the FAKE AND FRAUDULENT Cafe and Diner of Florida. However… let’s look at this another way… perhaps WE are the fake and fraudulent ones? Follow me on this one… They actually have the proper rights to the name Cafe and Diner. Their Cafe and Diner was founded by “Payroll,” AKA #1313 of the ORIGINAL Cafe and Diner. And the Florida Branch was founded in good faith by the right of succession implemented by the original big number under the 8’s Holdings Company. Ipso facto, we are not the “true” Cafe. We are just an imitation parody under fair use law. THUSLY we can not be tried for the crimes of the REAL Cafe and Diner due to “double jeopardy” laws.
Now, will this hold up? Of course, it will. Why wouldn’t it? Besides, we literally actually had nothing to do with this. We stopped hanging out with the Florida Cafe in like… 2018. They started getting a little too wild in OH YEAH, LOOK AT THAT 2018. No one Baristaed for them anywhere near their plan to light that shiz up like it was the Fourth of July. And if these IRIS GOONS can’t see the TRUTH for what it is, well, then they need to get their irises checked because the FACTS ARE HERE. THE FACTS ARE TRUE.