ADFE01 (Feb 14, 1996)
Summary of Receipt
Somehow, the SUCKSS group has involved the police and has started making 'citizens' arrests' on anyone suspected of Satanism, both in school and out. The three teenagers actually did get turned in, but Jan, Linda and Abigail Hawthorne - who claimed Satan had a 'plan' for them - let them go. She also alludes to the Cafe and Diner, and possibly also the new imitation group, Cafe No Diner, that's popped up.
Transcript
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-ADFE
DATE: 2/14/96
EMPLOYEE #35
Things have taken a turn for the worse at Wilson High. Somehow. The Suckers have started to actively hunt people down they suspect of Satanism. They've somehow pulled the LBPD into their frenzy and have been granted effectively the full authority to make citizens' arrests so long as they have even a suspicion of Satanism. This extends beyond just our school, as they've started "arresting" key enemies of Satan S.U.C.K.S.S. elsewhere in the city. It's just a lot worse at Wilson High because our beloved principal wouldn't hesitate to turn us in.
In fact, I know that personally because he did turn us in. #44, #1313, and myself. Here's the strange part, though, Abigail Hawthorne (and her lackeys) came to detain us. However, Jan initially protested, saying she knew I was a "good egg" because I went to bible study with her son. And then Linda also stepped in, saying that #44 and #1313's parents were good people. There's an extra layer of irony in that, but I'll leave you to pick that one out. Anyway, the final vote for our detainment came down to the head Sucker herself, Abigail. And…? She let us go.
She said something along the lines of, "Our Lord has a plan for these three. They are misguided, yes, but they will soon see the light… Unlike those other coffee-drinking heathens. Try to make yourselves more presentable though. You're in school, not a freakshow." Uncalled for. But I also think it's pretty clear that her "Lord" is not Jan and Linda's "Lord." It's Padre Santos. It's also a little refreshing to see that despite all this… insanity, Jan and Linda are still well, tourists. But, as far as the other "coffee-drinking" heathens go… that's gotta be the fake Cafe and Diner, right?