CADCM01 (Dec 3, 2019)
Summary of Receipt
Manager Number 2 - Muldra Yonomo, more well-known as Mammon - leaves his first receipt. He’s the primary shareholder of the Cafe and Diner now, with the original 8 giving his share to him - now he has 66% of the stock. He decides to give the Managers all proper titles: 0, 1, 3, 4, 5 and 6. He’s taking 2. He also tries to reduce the puzzles and the long numbers. Lastly, he moves them out of Jean’s apartment and into Long Beach - more specifically, into the abandoned Open Doors Church. Also, yes, all these Managers have parts of the Mantle of 8. Don’t ask me about the actual logistics of that, I have no clue. (Also: Muldra Yonomo is Mammon, and his assistant Sophie is Belphegor.)
Transcript
MANAGER NO. 2
DATE: 12-3-2019
FILE REFERENCE: CADCM01
Well, hello, my Cafe and Diner family!
Some of you know me, others know my lovely assistant Sophie Grenbelrn, but I am the primary shareholder of 8’s Holdings Incorporated, Muldra Yonomo. Now, I used to only own 33% of 8’s Holdings, but after a very generous arrangement with 8, I now own 66% of the company. As a result, I am now the majority shareholder of the Cafe and Diner. How exciting!
Things will naturally be different, and I do have some demands. I’ve been looking over your books, and two things stand out to me. One, too many puzzles. 8 is well aware I am not a fan of puzzles. Just file the receipts, please. If you must use puzzles, please make sure to update me with the passwords at the end of every week. I’ll be checking! Two, why is everyone using different receipt filing systems? I feel this is too confusing and as such, I have struck a deal with the ever industrious Marcelle Blackwood from BaristaTech to build brand new “CaDCom” systems.
Along with new CaDComs, we need to fix the employee roster a bit, yes? If you were to ask me how many 8s is too many 8s, I’d say one. Ha! Just kidding. Mostly. But honestly, why are there 6 of you? Well, no, don’t answer. I actually know why. It’s partially my fault. You can keep calling yourselves “8” if you want to, but I wouldn’t worry so much about “the sacred mantle” you’re under Yonomo’s protection now. So “Manager” will be fine. I also don’t necessarily know all of your names, so you’ll be Managers in the order I know you best, 0, 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6. I’ll take the No. 2 title as I am very well suited to the number 2.
As for the minions, whatever numbers you want will be fine, but try to condense them a bit, will you? I’m not a fan of larger numbers unless they are in my bank accounts. Ha! See, you have nothing to worry about. I am a jokester if ever there was one. Seriously I don’t want numbers above 4 digits if it can be helped. You could, of course, just number yourself 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. But I know you all love that number 8 so much.
Also, you can’t keep working out of 8’s apartment. It’s sad and unbefitting of an organization such as ours. That is why I have spared no expense in securing you a new physical location in Long Beach. Some of you might be familiar with it, but I have been assured that the Open Doors church is not haunted, just abandoned. But it should do for the time being, and you might just find that under the floorboards is quite the set up of coffee equipment left by the previous owner. I do wonder what happened to Padre Santos wink wink. Now I would love it if we could get back to doing just that as a Cafe and Diner family. There are a few more people I’d like you to serve some coffee to.
Ah, that reminds me. I am aware of the regrettable and unfortunate loss of one of your founding members. It is a tragedy. But, we will make her proud! Well, I don’t know if we could make her more proud than she already was. But, we can honor her memory by becoming the biggest and best Cafe and Diner yet!
With love, Muldra