C-TPA04 (Jan 12, 1996)

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C-TPA04

Puzzle

“Artemision to the Letter. A battle brewed from 6:10 onward.”
#35 Trivia | 2 Words

Clue

Hover over the clues if you require!
Clue 1: What - and where - is Artemision?
Clue 2: Is there a Letter to Ephesus?
Clue 3: Not the one in Revelation, the one that has a book dedicated to it. What does Ephesians 6:10 discuss?
Clue 4: What 'Warfare' is it talking about? Quite a generic term.

Answer and Explanation

Answer: Spiritual Warfare
Explanation: “Artemision to the Letter” refers to the Epistle to the Ephesians in the Bible. Ephesians 6:10 and onwards details the imagery of spiritual warfare.



⚠️BEWARE: THIS IS DECLASSIFIED INFORMATION. WARY EYES ONLY. ENTER AT OWN RISK.⚠️


Summary of Receipt

Pleasant attacks Wilson High's cheerleader bus in broad daylight, further sending the school into demonic hysteria and empowering Satan SUCKSS even despite 53's attempts to do damage control.

Transcript

RECEIPT #004
FILED UNDER: CAFE-TPA
DATE: 1/12/96
EMPLOYEE #35

Great. Greaaat. Awesome. Cool. Fantastic. The Mothman just ran the entire cheer squad’s bus off the road. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt except for a few cuts and bruises. I suppose it probably messes up their winter season, but then again, I don’t really keep up with school sports. What I do keep up with is the unescapable fallout of the utter prep meltdown happening at Wilson. They’ve “like, totally seen a demon, fer shur! It was totally, like, so scary when that grody ass bug thing grabbed onto our bus. We were, like, totally going to die, or whatever.” You know what? How about they gag me with a spoon, for sure.

Though… as much as the preps get on my nerves, in all fairness, they did actually see a demon. A demon who sunk his claws into their bus and pulled it off the road. And if Brittany W. is to be believed, the Mothman even flipped it, and they had to leave through the roof. Of course, the more rational people in Long Beach are trying to suggest that it was a mass-induced hysteria and that the bus driver was clearly under the influence. Nice work, Shill. Sadly, there aren’t that many rational people left in Long Beach, so the Suckers are swarming over this “demonic attack.”

I don’t know why I put that in quotes. It was a demonic attack. It’s so annoying that all this hullabaloo from the P.T.A. parents, our principal, and now our beloved and cherished preps is true. But it also isn’t. Satan isn’t actually trying to influence the youth of Long Beach into joining his hellish forces—he’s, he’s… I don’t know. He’s trying to use a loophole to open the Gates of Hell. Which, as I type it out, doesn’t sound that much better. Ugh. Well, now our Professor X Principal has a whole squad of giggling proselytizers. So that’s super fun.