ZZ-TCOP06 (May 10, 2023)
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Summary of Receipt
Summary
Transcript
Receipt: ZZ-TCOP06
Author: Twain
Status: Super Secret
Subject: Personality Cult
Well, I was able to meet up with Unidentified Cult Leader No. 4. I had a hunch who he was pretty early on. To be fair, he might be the only British guy I know, but also, there's no other reason Death, Jordan, would care about some no-name cult preaching peace, love, and joy. I met quite a few of his other cult members, though, at this point, it's more or less his regular crew. We had a much longer conversation, though I've cut it as it's all stuff you should all know by now. In any case, I'm not particularly worried about No. 4 or his Cult of Personality.
S.O.T.
Twain: Well, well, well, if it isn't Unidentified Cult Leader No. 4.
No. 4: What? Who are— Oh, for fu— Shaka. I knew you weren't actually dead. Look, I haven't— Hold on a tick. You aren't Shaka.
Twain: I'm the new Shaka. Or one-half of the new Shaka.
No. 4: New Shaka? They do that?
Twain: Someone's gotta be Shaka. But no one needs to be creepy love cult leader Jericho.
No. 4: Oi… it's not like that. And you know my name? I thought I was "Unidentified-Something-Or-Other."
Twain: …Cult Leader No. 4. We're not going to just put you in the books as Jericho. What's your cult leader name?
No. 4: …Jericho?
Twain: Everyone else has a cool name, like Rune, Fenrir, Bingo… You need a cool name. Though, I will say Unidentified Cult Leader No. 4 is growing on me. Pretty close to your old number, anyway. It's like a promotion.
No. 4: Well, hang on now, give me a chance to think something up, choice? And what're you doing here anyway? I haven't done anything to provoke any sort of Shaka investigation. Unless…
Twain: Jordan. He's worried about you. Also, one of our associates believes you might be trying to manifest a Miracle…? Again.
No. 4: Well… Well, that might be. Though only for good reasons!
Twain: Weren't you the one who destroyed it the first time?
No. 4: …Yes. Well, that was different then, wasn't it? But now that Fate is gone, I'm worried what if some other bloke tries and grabs it again, yeah? So, I figured I'd get it first.
Twain: And your followers?
No. 4: They've all got a bit of it, don't they? I've been a very benevolent leader to them. I'm not trying to use them like Jean used me. I don't see what the problem here is.
Twain: Look, No. 4, I'll level with you. I don't care what you're up to with your weird love cult. I don't even necessarily disagree with what you're trying to do. I also don't think it'll work. But your brother is technically like one of our bosses.
Daichi: When did Amber get here?
No. 4: Amber?!
Daichi: Really, Rico? It’sss Amber in a Zulu masssk.
No. 4: I—well, to be fair, we never worked together all that close.
Daichi: Obliviousss. Amber, or, Ssshaka, I ssshould sssay, I wanted to asssk you about Fenrir.
Twain: We're doing what we can—
Daichi: Are you going to kill him?
Twain: …Not if we can help it.
Daichi: What if you can't? He'sss… he'sss not himssself.
Twain: We'll do what we need to do.
No. 4: Fenrir? One of your cult blokes?
Daichi: Juliusss, try to keep up Rico.
Ranoma: JULIUS!! IS JULIUS HERE?!
Daichi: Oh great… you woke up the boy.
Ranoma: Julius, it is so very good to— AMBER!! It is so very good to see you! Have you come to spread love for everyone and everything?!
Twain: You made Loveland join your cult, Rico?
No. 4: I assure you I could not have stopped him if I wanted to. Now, what's all this about Julius?
[Twain sighed and began speaking in a very poor British accent]
Twain: We're going to need to put the kettle on.
E.O.T.