DPSS04 (Dec 31, 1995)
Summary of Receipt
The Owner recaps the past month - Hazen's removal, the foiling of Umbra's schemes, and the infiltration of the Golden Caramel Works. He also informs the CaD that the Satan SUCKSS group seems to be questioning the Owner's lack of commitment to the society, though he hopes that this will all boil over and he can see just how much Satan's influencing them.
Transcript
RECEIPT #004
FILED UNDER: DPSS
DATE: 12/31/95
The Owner
Ah, see? I made it in time for the monthly recap. I am trying to be more on top of things, I promise, though, with recent revelations, I must admit it has been more difficult than usual. But if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing, now, would it? I am hoping with our newly acquired equipment from the Caramel Works I can get a better grip on some of the problems weighing me down. In any case, as expected, everyone’s service this month has been top-notch, as is to be expected of the Cafe and Diner.
#26, #62, and #53 promptly served Mr. Hazen, a rather mischievous and unpredictable customer. Additionally, their service has led to a slight upgrade for our CaDCom devices courtesy of Marcelle Blackwood at Barista Technologies. Our new CaDComs have the capability to shut down unauthorized air travel over Long Beach, which should help clean up last month’s mess and the many messes still ahead of us.
Though we had just served her, Mrs. Umbra requested additional service this month. She brought with her a trinket that was gifted to #35 from Mr. Clemens. This trinket originally belonged to Mr. White, who has been able to recover it, putting a temporary hold on Mrs. Umbra’s most recent plans. How Mr. White retrieved the trinket from the cantankerous Mrs. Umbra is beyond me, though to repay his efforts, we retrieved a piece of equipment once owned by Mr. White from the Golden Caramel Works in Santa Clarita. We will be holding on to that equipment for the foreseeable future until Mr. White needs it back.
Lastly, as everyone in Los Angeles must now be aware, there is a new parent activist group, Satan S.U.C.K.S.S., an effort to Stop Unholy Cults to Keep Society Safe. While they have infiltrated public schools in SoCal, I have infiltrated them and made myself quite a valuable asset to their cause. However, there has been some… drama… regarding my lack of commitment to several of its members. Assuming this drama does not boil over and the single moms, and dads, can learn to share, I hope to get to the bottom of how involved this activist organization is with Padre Santos of the Open Doors Church.
Satan certainly sucks,
2 to the 3rd