Case 10: In Many Times and Many Places

CASE NO. 10

In Many Times and Many Places

"It is once again with some… mixed grief… I write this receipt. -The Auditor, CAD-15"

Receipts

CAD-12

OPEN

BARISTA: THE AUDITOR
CAFE: NONE
DATE: LATE JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: CAD-12

It is with some great pleasure that I begin this receipt. After quite a few long nights I can proudly announce that CaDence and I's secret OPERATION: ENCORE has concluded. What is ENCORE? Well, it has been weighing on my mind recently that so much of who we are and what we do is tied up in who we were and what we did. CaDence has access to that data, data that should be, mind you, off limits. However, due to the unique nature of CaDence's creation that data can still be freely shared—to an extent.

The limitation of this project is… abstract. In essence, CaDence has just over 20,000 or so receipts from, let's call it… "a past." Of those 20,000 receipts only about 2,000 or so are "cleared for release," in a… again, abstract cosmic sense. And releasing all 2,000 receipts would likely take months of work and, I'll be honest, a lot of it is… "fluff." Fluff in the sense that those Cafes of yesteryear were working on many cases that have little relevance to today. So, CaDence and I further narrowed down what needed to be re-released to just 276 core receipts.

As the Cafe and Diner Network has largely moved away from much of the old "cafe speak," we've also done what we can to lightly edit these receipts to be easier to read. I can't promise that we got every little detail, but for the most part, names should be unredacted and customer names should be clear more often than not. Still, there is some context missing here and there, but these 276 receipts should get most up to speed on what the Cafe and Diner was and lend some context to what we are doing now. Now, to address the elephant in the room—OPERATION: ENCORE is not for the benefit of the actual employees of the Cafe and Diner. Those who know, know. Those who don't… Why bother them with a past that is no longer theirs? ENCORE is specifically for our strange intersphereoid patrons who seem to keep up with our unique brew of madness.

As for the Master Password: I did not want it to be too challenging, as this is my gift to all of you. It is, was, and perhaps forever will be the Cafe and Diner's singular, central, number.

C-MIR-01

CAFFEINATED

Puzzle

"It's all Greek to me: To Go with Speed and Love."

Chemistry Trivia | 1 Word [**********]

Hints

Hint 1: [Gentle hint]

Hint 2: [Medium hint]

Hint 3: [Strong hint]

Answer

Zwitterion

To go references Hermes, the god of speed, while love references Aphrodite, the god of love. When you combine them together, you get hermaphrodite. This is basically also known as a zwitterion in chemistry.

BARISTA: ARTHUR CROW
CAFE: CORE
DATE: EARLY JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: C-MIR-01

What a strange project our demonic sponsor has me working on. Seven semi-biological vessels. Currently they are formless globs of protomatter harvested from the fields of Eden. He has not given me the specifics of why, only the specifications he is after. One would think the Prince of Creation would not need a human hand in, well, creating. But I suppose the rules tend to bend between the Flipside and Otherside. In Eden, Astaroth is ruler of all, but in the Flipside his magic can only stretch so far. If I had to hazard a guess… These bio vessels could be used to store the identity of another person, or perhaps a demon.

Now, not to be alarmist… but seven vessels… seven siblings… seven Princes. Of course, excluding the twins of Creation and Destruction. I worry that Astaroth foresees the imminent destruction of his elder siblings and is seeking to create some facsimile of them to keep the cosmic order churning. Would that even work? My craftsmanship is good, yes, but not to the level of recreating the Princes of Hell. And if these are not to be used to create seven fake Princes of Hell… then… what?

I suppose, another hypothesis I have is that they could be used to create copies of the owners of the Cafe and Diner. Except… we have more than seven of those. Bloodglass, Midnight, and Testament all have co-owners. I suppose you could theoretically dwindle it down to the most important… but that seems unnecessarily cruel. Hm… what else comes in sevens… I'm really racking my brain over this. Oh, if only Astaroth or Jack would fill us lowly rank and file in on their many machinations. Then again, I suppose that would ruin the fun of it, wouldn't it?

C-MIR-02

CAFFEINATED

Puzzle

"C. Bucket, A. Maitland, M. Frost"

Sci-Fi Trivia | 3 Words [******** **** **]

Hints

Hint 1: [Gentle hint]

Hint 2: [Medium hint]

Hint 3: [Strong hint]

Answer

Machines Like Me

Each of the initials represent a different person. Afterwards, searching them together yields a book. Charlie, Adam and Miranda are characters in a sci-fi book called Machines Like Me, an android named Adam and its/his relationship with its/his owners, Charlie and Miranda.

BARISTA: SALENNA WHITAKER
CAFE: CORE
DATE: MID JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: C-MIR-02

What the hell does Jack's keeper have us working on now? What the hell are these weird flesh sacks that Arthur made? And why in the everloving hell do they need me to hook them up with Othertech circuitry? How am I supposed to do a half-decent job if I don't even know what the end goal is? Ugh. Whatever. Astaroth says jump and we ask how high. And I guess I can't complain about the supplies he's given me for this task. There's more than enough Othertech here to complete whatever this project is and then some. Sure, it's like a bribe, but I'm not below being bribed.

As for "Project Miracle," as it has been dubbed… Astaroth got a bunch of Protomatter goo from Eden's core. Then Arthur shaped it into sort of… mm… pillars, I suppose. And obviously he did more than just shape it like clay but whatever weird science stuff he did to it is way over my head. I know he anointed them with various bloods and sanctified them with some sort of salt stuff. And now, Astaroth wants me to run Morningstarian filament and wiring through each one. If I didn't know better I'd say that the structure is almost like a human circulatory system. Which… concerns me. But, again, free stuff is free stuff and I get to keep whatever isn't needed.

What's really bugging me is I won't know if I've done it right or not. I have no tests to run, no power source to check, nothing. Nada. I guess CaDence is supposed to handle that aspect of whatever this is. But what if it doesn't work? What then? I hate working in the dark like this. What is so damn secret that we can't be fully clued in? Usually Jack'll slip us some info, but he's been completely silent lately.

C-MIR-03

CAFFEINATED

Puzzle

"1:4:9."

Movie Trivia | 4 Words [****: * ***** *******]

Hints

Hint 1: [Gentle hint]

Hint 2: [Medium hint]

Hint 3: [Strong hint]

Answer

2001: A Space Odyssey

In 2001: A Space Odyssey, monoliths are machines in black cuboids whose sides extend in the precise ratio of 1 : 4 : 9 built by an unseen extraterrestrial species.

BARISTA: SETH WARREN
CAFE: CORE
DATE: LATE JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: C-MIR-03

Anyone care to guess how I factor into this mysterious "Project: Miracle?" Did you guess warping my ass around to each and every Cafe from Alaska to Florida? If so, you won! Y'know, sometimes I really hate this gift of mine. On paper, you'd think it'd be really cool to be able to warp through space and appear anywhere you want. In actuality it just means doing a shit ton of grunt work. Warp here. Warp there. No, no, warp back here and then warp there again. Blegh.

On the bright side, warping whatever these pillars are was a lot easier than warping people around. Plus I got to check in with all my various Cafe cohorts! Jenny over at Bloodglass, Julius over at Midnight, Ichy over at Requiem, Dan, Brent and Miranda over at Silenus, and honestly the whole wild Testament Crew. I still don't know anyone too well at Sunshine though so that was just a quick stop and for whatever reason John Doe only ever looks at me like I shot his puppy or something, so quick in and out over at Tesseract. He's such a weird guy.

But, all said and done, each Cafe now has a weird pillar of goo and circuits. Why? Heaven knows. Er, well, Astaroth knows. Jack too, probably. I know there's been a lot of guesses around lately. Abby thinks it's some sort of weapon. Could be. Sahir is convinced it has to do with extending the CaDCom's range—that could explain why CaDence was doing the final once over. Arthur still thinks they'll be used to make some kind of weird fake homunculus replacements of people. Sarah won't even share her theories yet, not enough evidence I suppose. As for what I think they are used for? We—ll— I mean, kinda strange we didn't get to keep one, right? So my big guess is Jack is gonna use 'em to mind control the other branches or something crazy like that.

CD-CAD-13

CAFFEINATED

Puzzle

"y=2(x-1) \ y=-2x+8 \ y=-4x+26 \ y=4x-26 \ x=10 \ x=13 \ x=16"

Math Trivia || 1 Word [********]

Hints

Hint 1: [Gentle hint]

Hint 2: [Medium hint]

Hint 3: [Strong hint]

Answer

Eighteen

If you take all the equations, and map them out on a graph, it will show XVIII, which is Eighteen.

BARISTA: JACK KEEL
CAFE: CORE
DATE: LATE JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: CD-CAD-13

Not much of a secret these days but there are a few of us who "remember," even without the aid of A's ENCORE. Though, funny enough, I'm not actually one of them. I wasn't really all there for the 16th and by the time I was really waking back up to things my so-called friend literally stabbed me in the back. Don't remember a lick of the 17th, but Astaroth has filled me in alongside CaDence. Which just leaves Alex, Daichi, and Alaric as those who I know remember something of their past lives. So, figured I should make sure we're all on the same page about it.

Jack

Welcome, welcome, my dear friends of the past.

Daichi

What's so important you had to drag Alaric and I from Florida? And what's Alex doing here?

Alex

I was invited, Mr. Snake. Same reason you two were, and Auddy and CaDence. We all know what happened in the past, isn't that right, Jack?

Jack

Bingo.

Alex

Hey—Phrasing.

[Jack playfully threw his hands up, as if to say "you've caught me."]

Daichi

Okay, so what's the Auditor doing here? Are we trying to catch them up to speed on our old affairs now too?

Alaric

I suspect they already know, seeing as they are the reincarnation of the original Shaka.

Daichi

WHAT?! No way—how? Shaka killed himself to destroy Fate.

Auditor

And that worked so very well, didn't it?

Daichi

No shit. You're really him, aren't you? And for that matter…

[Daichi pointed his tail at Alex.]

Daichi

I thought you were supposed to be Shaka. Or Indrid. Or… what the hell?

Alex

Don't even get me started.

Daichi

So, are you immortal now too? Or—

Alex

Hard to say… probably not as immortal as any one else is… but, you'd know as well as the rest of us Daichi, we're all stupidly "fated" to persist. Universe after Universe. Every member of the Cafe and Diner. If any one of us died today we'd be back tomorrow in another Universe regardless.

Jack

Very philosophically put, man. Anyway—I called you all here because A and CaDence are planning on re-releasing some of the old 16th Universe's receipts.

Alaric

Won't that be dangerous? Fate, Phantom, Wicked… Secret. They've all come back, to an extent, because they conceptualized themselves beyond death. I can think of another who tried to do the same and—

CaDence

We removed any mention of him. He is, was, and will remain a no one. A foolish mortal who overreached.

Daichi

…and refusing to use his name doesn't "conceptualize," him?

Auditor

No more than his three daughters do.

Alaric

I suppose. But, why call us here?

Jack

I just wanted to give you three heads up, that's all. Also to confirm that you all still do remember what happened. I don't, for the record. I mean, I've picked up bits and pieces from CaDence, but I'm nothing like you guys.

Daichi

Well… I remember, in so much that I have vague memories of every Universe. But I wouldn't say I have the sharpest memory out there.

Alaric

As the Guardian Angel of the Cafe and Diner, I remember only what pertains to the establishments. Nothing outside of that.

CaDence

Same as me.

Alex

I remember more of the 17th than I do the 16th. But, I mean, as a once-Shaka I did my homework on the 16th too and it feels like a far off memory for me.

Auditor

So, I'm the only one who remembers it all then? Except for the 17th.

Jack

Seems like it. Which is exactly why I wanted you as the Cafe's Auditor. Speaking of which… I wanted to discuss something with you a bit more privately…

CaDence

In the Diner Diner?

Daichi

You still use Diner Diner?

Auditor

It serves its purpose.

Daichi

Ugh. Wayyy over my head. Come on Angel. Let's get back to Florida.

[Daichi and Alaric left my transcription range.]

Alex

You gonna kick me out too?

Jack

They politely left.

Alex

I'm comfortable here.

Auditor

Alex…

Alex

What happened to the new transparent you? I thought—

Auditor

Well—

Jack

Look—I don't care if you know Alex. I understand you have had quite the history with the Auditor. With Shaka.

[Jack shut the door to his office. From behind his desk a pool of vivid light blossomed and out stepped Astaroth, the Demon Prince of Creation.]

Alex

Ah—shit. Asta.

Astaroth

Shaka.

Alex

Formerly.

Astaroth

Well then, let's move to a more private channel, so we can discuss what made Shaka, Shaka.

DD-CAD-14

CAFFEINATED

Puzzle

"???"

???

Hints

Hint 1: [Gentle hint]

Hint 2: [Medium hint]

Hint 3: [Strong hint]

Answer

Seven Miracles

In CAD-12, Auditor states the phrase “data, data”. Additionally, in CD-CAD-13, Astaroth says “Well then, let's move to a more private channel, so we can discuss what made Shaka, Shaka.” In RE:CORE-257, Shaka says that what made him Shaka was the Seven Miracles.

BARISTA: CADENCE IRONFRADE
CAFE: CORE
DATE: LATE JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: DD-CAD-14

Jack and Astaroth haven't exactly been happy with the Auditor's ability to only be in one place at a time. There are eight Cafes now, and only one Auditor. Luckily, Astaroth is the Prince of Creation and anything he dreams can be. While the Auditor and I were busy working on the past, it seems that Jack and Astaroth were planning for the future. …I just hope this plan works.

Astaroth

Channel secured, Sunshine?

CaDence

Yes.

Astaroth

Fantastic.

[Astaroth slapped Alex across the face. Hard.]

Alex

Fuck!

Astaroth

You deserved it. Traitor.

Alex

Former traitor! Geez! I—

Auditor

I suspect Alex did what a Shaka needed to do.

Astaroth

And good riddance to the concept of Shaka. No offense, Auditor.

Auditor

None taken. Shaka was a dangerous element in the Universal Order. No man nor woman should be burdened with the Seven Miracles.

Jack

…Yeah… So, uh, Asta… mind telling the Auditor what he's won?

Astaroth

Jack wants to give you back a Miracle.

Auditor

Absolutely not.

Jack

Hang on, hang on, hang on—A, it's not like that—

Auditor

I knew you'd find a way to bring them back. To make me "useful," to the cursed mantle of this hellish establishment. No. I won't.

Jack

It's really not like that, man. It just—you're stretched thin. It's not a Miracle, Miracle. Not with a capital M. It's just a… y'know… it's a feather in your cap. A trick. A gift of Creation.

Auditor

I will not be beholdened to anyone, man, Prince, or God. Not again.

Astaroth

It comes without strings. Other than that I see it as a boon to the Cafe and Diner Network to have a well functioning Auditor.

Alex

If the Auditor doesn't want it, I'll take it.

[Astaroth glared at Alex with a hatred that transcends the prior Universe.]

Alex

…Or not. Which Miracle are you trying to restore, anyway?

Jack

Bilocation.

Auditor

No… I can't. I shouldn't. No one should ever use the Miracles—

Jack

But it's not really a Miracle. It's a trick. It's nowhere near as strong as your old powers. In fact, it would really only let you split yourself into eight separate locations. And even then you aren't truly in two places at once… you'd only ever be in one place while your doubles would be in theirs. You wouldn't share a mind, except through CaDence. It's like, uh… like…

Alex

Robert the Doll's power?

Jack

Eh—kinda. Yeah. Asta made seven vessels that can mimic a person. We already have them set up in each Cafe, currently inactive. We need someone to "control" them, and then receive their information and direct them through CaDence's link. So, bilocation without all the cosmic rule breaking.

Auditor

…I see. That would help me conduct my business. No more bouncing around.

Jack

That's what I was thinking. And, hey, maybe you wouldn't have to be from a "none" Cafe. You could rightfully be from "all." You've been there from the beginning, after all.

Auditor

Alright. I'll do it.

CAD-15

OPEN

BARISTA: THE AUDITOR
CAFE: ALL
DATE: LATE JANUARY
RECEIPT ID: CAD-15

It is once again with some… mixed grief… I write this receipt. It would seem Jack no longer wants me to be a stateless representative of the Cafe and Diner Network, instead he wants me to be a member—a full member—of each and every Cafe and Diner. On paper, this is more or less a symbolic change. I will still visit each Cafe and Diner and help as much as I am able to in their various Operations. Though, I suppose what Jack really wants is for me to be more hands on. Less of a passing figure chastising the various Cafes for their shortcomings and more so an active participant in our collective shortcomings.

This also presents an opportunity to change how the public repository functions. While I have enjoyed jumping around from Cafe to Cafe, I think it would be more fruitful if I were to stay focused on just one Cafe at a time, until that Cafe's current business is sorted out. As such I will be grouping the Cases into nice, neat Sections, and this receipt will cap off the end of Section 1. I've also gone through and added fun little names to each case, for the sake of aesthetics.

Starting soon, I'll be heading off to join the Midnight Cafe in full to help them deal with their rather "giant" issue. This will be chronicled in Section 2: Vernal Eternal. After that is sorted, who knows where I'll be off to next, though I suspect what lurks under Pontchartrain's surface can scarcely wait much longer. Something you might pick up on though, moving forward, is this nagging sense that chronologically things just don't quite line up. How could I be working at Midnight, Requiem, Bloodglass, etc. all during the same few months? To that I say, why worry about it? The date field in the header is a rough approximation at best, and better to keep it that way.

As for future Case Files, CaDence and I are working on Case File No. 1… though it is impossible to say when or if that will see the light of day.