View source for TAP05 (Dec 5, 1995)

<span style="font-size: 40px;"><strong><center>TAP05</center></strong></span>
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<h1>Summary of Receipt</h1>
<span style="font-size: 20px">The Owner re-emerges from his office, mentioning that the CaD’s probably exhausted all their leads searching for Satan’s red notebook and, with the new discovery of Anathemas, should probably focus on stopping Satan’s plans. He suggests looking into public high schools, where a new wave of Satanic panic seems to have begun. And that’s not likely a coincidence.</span>
<h1>Transcript</h1>
<span>RECEIPT #005<br>
FILED UNDER: DINER-TAP<br>
DATE: 12/5/95<br>
THE OWNER<br>

I’m late. My apologies. I’ve been rather consumed lately, as I’m sure you’ve all noticed. I don’t mean to be hidden away in my office all the time, but, well, I can’t promise it won’t happen again. In any case, another month down, and what a month it has been. You all managed to stop the impending destruction of the greater Los Angeles coffee scene. You’ve pieced together a truly impressive amount of information regarding Padre’s obscure parish contracts and the specific tax-exemption loophole he’s been using to sell his coffee tax-free. I don’t think I could have done it better myself. Truly, exemplary work, everyone.

We’ve also run through the gambit of Padre’s cohorts, and I believe we’ve mined them for all the information they might give up. Sure, Padre has other ex-lovers, loan sharks, and strangers who’d be more than willing to help out our cause, but I doubt any of them would be any more knowledgeable than Mr. Gray, Mr. Walker, and Mr. Clemens have been. Not to mention we’ve more than made Padre Santos aware of our intentions, and it seems like we’ve managed to catch the ire of Mrs. Umbra personally as well. We are very good at being bothersome. I’d even argue we’ve become quite the anathemas to the Open Doors church.

Of course, it would seem the Church is actively seeking anathemas these days. And we’ve seen the truly dangerous lengths they are willing to go to denounce those they dislike. And like moths to a flame, they plan to use these anathemas to pay off some sort of clerical debt. So, the question then becomes, how do we stop the Open Doors Church from utilizing this tax loophole to get the debt out. Sorry, misphrased that last bit, I suppose. Get out of debt. Well, we need to figure out who they plan to denounce and how. And I believe our best bet might just lie in the public education system. There’s been quite the uproar over demonic board games, sinister backmasking, and hidden occult message—if you thought the Satanic Panic was over, it’s clearly just begun, and Padre is loving it. He’s got all the PTA moms shouting from the rooftops, “<i><b>Satan Sucks</i></b>.”</span>