View source for ACIB01 (Sep 1, 1988)

<span style="font-size: 40px;"><strong><center>ACIB01</center></strong></span>
__TOC__
<h1>Summary of Receipt</h1>
<span style="font-size: 20px">Summary</span>
<h1>Transcript</h1>
<span>DINER RECEIPT<br>
RECEIPT NUMBER: ACIB01<br>
RECEIPT DATE: 9 1 19XX<br>
MANAGER TITLE: MON AMOUR<br>
RECEIPT NOTES:<br>

Alright! It’s time to get serious about our very first “customer,” as it were: the ever-pleasant Mr. Perez. As I mentioned a few days ago, he’s unique in that he doesn’t inherently favor any one of my siblings. Due to a particular clause in our personal agreements, Mr. Perez gets to spend time with my older sister, Asmi, before wandering off to find his family elsewhere in Ottawa—assuming he even has family to find. If not, he’s free to indulge in the bounties of either the green or golden regions of the Canadian city.

Now, while Mr. Perez seems friendly… Or, wait, no, that’s not quite right, is it? Mon Amour, he’s crafted quite the lexicon of obscure terms for the Cafe and Diner. So perhaps "amicable" is the better word here. Yes, Mr. Perez would be an amicable customer. He’s especially so toward tourists—but he does have quite the appetite. An appetite that can only be satisfied by a certain protein found in goat’s blood. So, while he won’t hurt anyone while he’s here—or, well, in San Diego, I suppose—he will do some damage to their livestock.

As for figuring out which of my siblings he belongs with, it’s actually pretty simple. Like their cousins in the States, Mr. Perez’s appearance gives it away. If he has short, dark hair, he goes to my sister at the southern end of Ottawa. If he looks like a swimmer—and you’ll know it when you see him—he goes to my brother just above her. If he’s average-looking or otherwise non-descript, he’s with my oldest brother. If he looks sickly and mean, well, you can guess which brother gets him. If he’s golden, shiny, or a bit… “froo-froo,” he belongs to my glittering brother. And if he’s got long white hair, then he’s one of mine!</span>